John Matthew Kertland V — A Celebration of Life

by Grissel Hernandez, WCSI Volunteer Faculty Associate

January 27, 1964 – June 28, 2017

John Matthew Kertland V, 53, died unexpectedly at home on June 28, 2017 exactly two days after admitting in writing he needed to listen and apply more of what his wife said. Obviously, such revelation managed to be too powerful for his South Jersey heart. He would like us to believe he still looked in his early 40s, a fact he attributed to his daily skin care regimen with Lubriderm. He swore by it and emailed the company several times in hopes of receiving a lifetime supply. We are still waiting for the shipment.

John was born in Somers Point, New Jersey on January 27, 1964 to John M., IV and Judith M. Kertland; and raised by his grandparents, John M. and Dorothy Kertland, and his great-aunt, Hellen who loved him as her own son. He lived a wild and crazy life in his 20s and early 30s until he met his future wife, Grissel Hernandez on December 19, 1998. John was two hours late for their first date and he blamed it on his heartache after hearing President Clinton was impeached by Congress that day. We were still debating his version of the story.

John had many feelings about many things, particularly religion, bitcoin, political correctness, war on drugs, ancient aliens, and the medicinal properties of the sacred herb, cannabis.

John is survived by his wife, Grissel, his four-legged children, Simon, J.J., and Luci and countless other friends and families who loved him and miss him dearly. He is preceded in death by his parents, four-legged children, Kelly, Raider, Jack, Ivan, Miss P.C., and almost every person or alien who ever lived on this planet.

John suffered for many years with panic and anxiety attacks. However, during the last year of his life he began integrating Watson Caring Science caritas processes, practicing lovingkindness meditation and spending countless hours in his garden tending to his Jersey tomatoes, bells peppers and herb garden. His favorite Caritas Process™ was #5, allowing for positive and negative feelings!!!! He called gardening his spiritual practice and attributed his practice of lovingkindness with his new-found sense of peace.

John wanted to be cremated and asked to “sprinkle his ashes in as many WAWA store coffee pots”, a reference only his East Coast friends will understand. Luckily for his wife, there are no WAWAs in California.

John was deeply loved by his wife, friends and family. He was a loyal friend and a fierce enemy, yet had a kind heart. We will miss his laughter, witty, and brutal honesty. A private celebration of life will be held in late July.

In lieu of flowers, please consider donating in memory of John M. Kertland to the Watson Caring Science Institute.